Which one for my story?
1) Shelby slid her oversized D&G Sunglasses over her eyes. She pivot turned towards her full length to “over examine” her outfit. She wore an Ella Moss red and white spaghetti strap paired with Denim shorts, on her feet she wore Juicy Couture thong sandals, hanging from her neck was a Daisy necklace, and slung over her shoulder was a Kate Spade Pink tote which carried all her necessities.
or-
2) Shelby carefully lifted her freshly manicured nails and slid her oversized Juicy sunglasses over eyes glamorously. She examined herself carefully in her full length mirror. Her red and white sleeveless Ella Moss shirt went perfectly with her denim diesel shorts, her manicured toes were shown off with her Juicy thong sandals, and hanging from her neck was a gorgeous Daisy necklace, and to finish off the outfit was a Pink Kate Spade tote slung over her shoulder which carried all her necessities.
which one?
The first one is good because it has a little more action. However, I like the second as it appears more professional. When I write I go for first person though and tend to avoid minute descriptions. It can be annoying to a reader to have to keep reading such things. Do not keep giving such descriptions unless its essential to the plot. Readers should be made to think a bit versus having it laid out before them. You can show character through dialogue and other character’s reference to the mc. I hope this helps.
